Shabbat Shalom! This week’s Torah
portion is Parashat Ki Teitzei. In this parasha, sandwiched in among several
verses about compassion and community safety, we find the following verse, “A woman may not dress
in a man’s apparel, nor shall a man wear women’s clothing; for doing these
things is abhorrent to the Lord your God.” Based on its placement, this verse
is clearly meant to also communicate something about community safety, though
today it is often used as a weapon to actively make some communities unsafe for
transgender or gender non-conforming Jews.
Our rabbis taught that this
prohibition was more about sexual ethics than about gender presentation. Rashi
worries that someone might crossdress in order to gain access to
gender-segregated spaces for the sake of sexual encounters. Ramban and Rashbam
both worry it’s a form of peacocking - that is, that it would be used as a way
to stick out and garner undeserving sexual attention. So if some is truly
dressing in a way that makes themselves comfortable for their own sake and not
with any immoral sexual intent, we can interpret that in fact the Torah would
permit that.
Furthermore, “The Sages in Our Own Time” quoted in The Five
Books of Miriam, explain that from a historical perspective the prohibition,
like the prohibition in Leviticus against tattoos and many other commandments
throughout our Torah, was probably in direct response to what the pagans around
the Ancient Israelites were doing. Crossdressing and gender-bending was a part
of the mythology and worship in some ancient Near Eastern religions, especially
for the female cults of the goddesses Inanna, Anat, and Ishtar. These were
powerful goddesses who each achieved greatness often through masculine tasks
and traits, and embodied paradoxical aspects: maiden/mother/crone and
virgin/whore paradigms encased in one goddess. Ancient Israelites worshiping
one God who is either envisioned as solely male or completely agender have no
need for this kind of empowerment through gender-bending. Yet, as I mentioned
last week, it seems silly in today’s world of religious pluralism to be
threatened by the goings-on of parallel group who is only trying live their own
lives and not trying to force their customs on those that have different
religious practices.
Kalonymus ben Kalonymous, a rabbinical leader in 14th century
France, writes in his work Even Bochan, “Father in heaven, who did
miracles for our ancestors with fire and water, You changed the fire of
Chaldees so it would not burn hot, You changed Dina in the womb of her mother
to a girl, You changed the staff to a snake before a million eyes, You changed
[Moses’] hand to [leprous] white and the sea to dry land. In the desert you
turned rock to water, hard flint to a fountain. Who would then turn me from a man
to woman? Were I only to have merited this, being so graced by your goodness. .
. And the sorrow of the impossible is a human pain that nothing will cure and
for which no comfort can be found. So, I will bear and suffer until I die and
wither in the ground. And since I have learned from the tradition that we bless
both the good and the bitter, I will bless in a voice, hushed and weak,
‘Blessed are you, O Lord, who has not made me a woman’ [a traditional morning
blessing for all men]." What would Kalonymus say if he could live today
when gender roles could be more fluid, modern science could help him look how
he feels, and modern sociology might even validate these truths? Perhaps then
he could bless with gusto, “Blessed are you, O Lord, who has made me in the
Divine Image [the blessing Mishkan Tefillah has in its morning liturgy in place
of the aforementioned blessing].”
Tonight marks the birthday of Marsha P. Johnson, one of the early
movers and shakers of LGBTQ liberation in America. Born in 1945, Marsha P.
Johnson was her chosen name, and she would tell people that the “P.” stood for
“pay it no mind” when people asked about her gender. Like many other members of
the Greenwich Village LGBTQ community in the ‘60’s, Marsha was arrested more
than once, but once she used her famous “Pay it no mind” line on a judge who
was so amused by it that he released her and charges were dropped. Marsha
wasn’t Jewish, but her participation in various NYC-based activist groups,
including her role in the Stonewall Uprising, led the way for Queer folks from
every background, including those in our own communities, to be free to be who
they are, and we thank her for that. Wherever her spirit resides now, I hope it
is at peace today.
In our Sefirat HaBinyan, we are 15 days, that is two weeks and one
day, away from Rosh HaShanah. The mystical realm for this day is Chesed
she’b’Tiferet, balanced kindness or compassionate kindness. In the time of
teshuvah, of returning to our souls and ourselves and our community, let us
ensure that our community is open to all those seeking to return to their
truest selves. Let us ensure that our community is compassionate and safe for
Jews of all genders and gender expressions. Reb Zalman offers for this day:
“Psalm 27:13-[They would have crushed me] had I
not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the
living. (#1)” Giving myself and others gentle compassion that there is hope at
the end of the tunnel. Everyone must have hope to go on. Each of us must have
hope and belief in our own hearts but also reach out to those we see in
need.“Psalm 27:13- I wouldn't have survived If I hadn't hoped that I would see,
yet, Your goodness, God, fully alive on earth. (#2)”
This Shabbat, may we be open vessels, willing to
hold space for a multitude of identities, that these final days of 5778 may be
for acceptance, compassion, and love. Amen and Shabbat Shalom.
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