Shabbat Shalom! This week’s Torah
portion is Parashat Vayigash, in which Joseph
reveals himself to his brothers. The opening verse of Genesis chapter 45 tells
us that Joseph sent everyone else from the room before breaking down in tears
and telling his brothers the truth. Rashi comments on this that his need for
privacy in this moment is to shield his brothers from shame. Later commentators
add that the shame would presumably be about the whole backstory coming out in
their emotional confrontation and people knowing how awful the brothers had
been to their compassionate stateman. However, Rashi doesn’t clarify himself,
so it seems just as likely to me that he meant the absurdity that they do not
recognize their own brother would be shameful.
Joseph and his
brothers haven't seen each other in many years, and now he's in Egyptian dress,
presumably with the headdress and kohl and everything, obscuring his looks. So
it is fairly understandable that they do not recognize him, though he recognizes
them right away. Yet, the scene calls to mind a meme I saw recently on the
Facebook page Heimish Humor.
This also reminded me of teen
movies where the "ugly girl" takes down her pony tail and puts in
contacts and everyone is like "Whoa she's hot?!?!?!?!" While it may
not rise quite to that level of incredulity that the brothers don’t recognize
Joseph, it still seems yet another act of selfishness that blinds them to the
truth in front of them.
Just as they were caught up in their
own feelings when they were young, taking out anger that really should have
been directed at their father onto their kid brother, just as they lashed out
violently when they perhaps could have taken Joseph under their wing and taught
him to stop being a brat, they are again now too caught up in their fear and
immediate needs to truly see the man before them. It seems to me that while
their concerns around the famine and taking care of who they think are their
only remaining family members are extremely valid, they also could be using
this supposed newfound empathy and humility that they exhibit toward Jacob and
Benjamin in the aftermath of the family’s grief over Joseph to see their
situations more clearly, to recognize the full humanity in everyone around
them, to really see Joseph standing in their direct eye line.
It's important to take care of
ourselves and prioritize certain needs over others, but we all have our moments
when we get too much in our own feelings to recognize the people around us.
Let's make 2020 a better year of community building by striving to look past
the glasses, the pony tail, the Egyptian dress and may we all see the
superheroes, the beauty, and the loving siblings that stand beside us. Amen and
Shabbat Shalom.
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