Friday, October 19, 2018

Parashat Lech Lecha and Dybbuks


           Shabbat Shalom! This week’s focus of fantastic beings is dybbuks. Dybbuks are sometimes confused with demons or generic ghosts, but they are something in between. The word dybbuk comes from the Hebrew verb “davek” – to cleave or to cling. Among the demonology and stories of various types of spirits roaming the world found throughout the Talmud and Kabbalistic literature, there are stories of human souls who cling to this world when their body dies and who cleave to the soul of a living body. In the folklore of European Jews from the 17th century on, the phenomenon of a person’s possession by a clinging soul came to be blamed on the being known simply as a dybbuk, and was generally considered a bad thing.
            Having grown up in a haunted house, I know that not all clinging spirits are malicious. True, my grandmother’s ghost did not try to possess anyone as dybbuks are known to do, but she did once appear in a fiery image outside the window overlooking the backyard to tell my cousin’s boyfriend to get out of her house. My cousin broke up with the guy shortly thereafter. For context, Grandma Irene wasn’t being a dramatic dybbuk with the fire thing; she did actually die in a fire in the backyard. For about one week straight in January 1998, our TV kept turning itself on for 6:00 news, though no one in the family remembered setting the timer. That would be about when we were sitting down for dinner, and no one wanted the TV on then. My parents made a few attempts to ensure there was no timer set or to turn it off. The last time the TV turned itself on, the news was reporting a large fire in our town. It had started in a beloved family-owned bakery downtown and ended up damaging several Main Street businesses. Thankfully, no one was hurt, but it seemed Grandma Irene wanted us to keep up on fire-related news in town. There were other, more mundane signs that maybe on their own wouldn’t be so obvious, but coupled with the distinct fire-related hauntings led us to still imagine them as acts of Grandma Irene’s soul clinging to the house in which she had raised her children, lived for many years, and where she had died, and where her youngest daughter was now raising her own children. For years, three different family dogs, owned separately, would sit down at the foot of the stairs and stare up expectantly around the time Irene would be getting ready to go to work if she were alive. A few years ago, my dad was home alone and doing some housework. He swears he very distinctly felt a tap on his shoulder. He jumped a foot in the air, turned off the vacuum, and looked around, but there was no one there. The house was quiet, and there have been no more spooky happenings since then. We think Irene was saying thanks to her son-in-law for keeping up her house and taking care of her family, and saying goodbye. My sibling and I had already moved out of the house and were more or less grown, and she didn’t need to look after us anymore. We wondered if she went to Phoenix to keep tabs on her great grandchildren, but we haven’t heard any stories from my cousins out there. We assume and hope that her soul finally let go of its grip on this world, and returned to its maker. Hopefully, Irene is no longer a dybbuk.
            The stories of the Talmud and Kabbalah claim that dybbuks can be created by malicious souls that linger in this world because they are so sinful they do not want to return to the Creator, or they can be created by pure souls that are wronged somehow and they cleave to the one who wronged them. Maybe some stick around out of love, an unwillingness to leave their families, a desire to stick to the souls that they felt connected to in life.
            In this week’s Torah portion, Parashat Lech L’cha, we are told that Abram and Sarai leave Haran with a caravan, taking with them to the Promised Land their nephew Lot and his family, and “all the souls they made”, as well as all their “possessions”. The most common Midrashic explanation of this line is that they converted all their servants to monotheism and made their souls as if new with the love of God. But we know that Abram and Sarai are known and will later be blessed for their hospitality. In my experience, being proselytized to is not very welcoming, no matter how friendly the person seems when they’re trying to “save your soul.” What if, rather than converting servants and hauling them along this journey that’s really not for them, Abram and Sarai were actually so open and welcoming that the people who dwelled among them clung to their souls like a dybbuk. I’m not necessarily saying that all the “souls” Abram and Sarai brought to the Holy Land were ghosts, but I’m also not saying that none of them were. Either way, what I’m really saying, is that love is a very effective glue to stick one soul to another. I’ve never been haunted by a dybbuk that cleaved to this world out of malice or hurt, but I spent all my childhood with one that clung on in love. As a living person, I know anger can feel haunting, but it generally passes and does not consume the soul, yet unconditional love lasts and connects two souls forever. I hope I’m not inviting in a host of ghosts to the synagogue by saying this, but how beautiful would it be to create a community so open and welcoming, so filled with unconditional love for each other, that our souls clung to one another, cleaved to Ner Shalom, and stuck around to help make this synagogue the best it could be for as long as we could. May your homes be ghost-free, but your lives filled with love and souls that cling to yours in joy. Amen and Shabbat Shalom.

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